Why doesn't Valve just release strangifiers for every hat?

I'm tired of ressugesting, why are unusual suggestions so hard :c

Sale 1

http://www.tf2outpost.com/trade/25021223 - Sold for Knifestorm Brain Bucket, Strange Spec KS Frying Pan, and 4 keys. (~57.4 keys, rounding to 57 x 0.9 = 51.3, rounding to 51)

http://i.imgur.com/W1uA0bj.png

http://i.imgur.com/FpeILI6.png

Sale 2

http://www.tf2outpost.com/trade/25006930 - Sold for a Dead President's Killer Exclusive (52 keys)

Mini for KE

http://www.tf2outpost.com/trade/25566440 - B/O of 52 keys

Mini for Bucket

http://www.tf2outpost.com/trade/25637159 - B/O of 45 keys

Mini for Frying Pan

http://steamcommunity.com/market/listings/440/Strange%20Specialized%20Killstreak%20Frying%20Pan - Sold Twice for $21 USD (~8.4 keys)